Stupid Smile

His smile makes me miss you

There’s something that’s the same

It’s odd because he’s wonderful 

And all you are is pain

I shouldn’t even think of you

I know by now to run

But my stubborn heart still loves you

Even after all you’ve done

Now I have the truth laid bare

And it still does not deter

This stupid love I cannot shake

For a man you never were

My head has little say in this

When push comes down to shove

That grin still makes my heart beat fast

I hate you so, my love

Unnamed

I never asked

For an explanation

Or a reason

Promises or vows

You won me over

And I trusted you

I trusted you

Despite every lesson

Every memory

Every thought that screamed

You swore

To never trust again

I let you in

And I found

That I needed you

As much as you needed me

I enjoyed

Talking to you

Telling you my stories

And hearing yours

You promised a promise

I never asked for

You swore

You’d never leave

I asked you not to

Another promise

Just waiting to be broken

Perhaps you kept your word

You never left

You just faded out

Bit by bit

Piece by piece

Until you weren’t there

When I needed you

When I missed you

When there was a joke

That only you would get

Or an answer

That only you could give

And now I wish

We had never met

And I didn’t know

Every laugh that was missing

Every secret that went

Unshared

Every moment of loneliness

That didn’t have to be

I miss

Not knowing what I was missing

Not staying awake

Wondering

Where you are

Sleeping soundly

Without a single thought of me

And more than anything

I miss

Not missing you

"I know, I know
There are people who care.
It’s the people I want
Who never are there."

RnbL

Taken out the car window, probably on my way between Baltimore and Cincinnati at some point, but I’m honestly not sure.
-RnbL

Taken out the car window, probably on my way between Baltimore and Cincinnati at some point, but I’m honestly not sure.

-RnbL

Taken in Florida in 2010 I believe.
-RnbL

Taken in Florida in 2010 I believe.

-RnbL

Mt husband’s grandparents’ puppy. I don’t usually like small dogs, but she is such a bundle of sweetness you can’t resist her.
-RnbL

Mt husband’s grandparents’ puppy. I don’t usually like small dogs, but she is such a bundle of sweetness you can’t resist her.

-RnbL

Now I Lay Me Down

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my slumber’s deep

I pray my demons stay abed

And don’t roam freely through my head

I pray the blood, I pray the tears

I pray You take away my fears

And if I should wake before I die

I pray for courage to get by

-RnbL

Taken near Loch Lommond in 2010. I just thought the bench was really idyllic looking.
-RnbL

Taken near Loch Lommond in 2010. I just thought the bench was really idyllic looking.

-RnbL

Taken in Dingle, Ireland in 2010.
-RnbL

Taken in Dingle, Ireland in 2010.

-RnbL

Song I Randomly Composed to the ‘Oscar Meyer’ Tune

My bologna’s green and fuzzy

It’s 95 years old

It’s full of creepy crawlies

And sticky slimy mold

I like to eat it every day

And if I die you all can say

It’s cuz Oscar Meyer has a way

With B-O-L-O-G-N-A

-RnbL

Abyss

Although my hands keep reaching

It seems they never grasp a ledge

Although I’m walking backwards

I keep slipping off the edge

It seems for every step I take

I take another two steps back

It seems despite a shining light

Everything is black

My bridges all are burning

There’s no comfort in their dust

I’ drowning in the waters

I can’t do what I must

The air is like a blanket

I struggle for each breath

Funny, I can’t seem to tell

Is this life or is this death?

-RnbL

The Bomber

With silver blades I slice the sky

Blue halls no mortals roam

Howling winds brushed aside

This place is all my own

My engine laughs in child’s play

My sun-flecked road unbound

I pity you your tiny world

Confined to life aground

Above I pierce the sky with steel

Burning fury beneath my wings

Grounded ants shake with fear

They know what my coming brings

-RnbL

The Men of War

Old men sit armed with ink

And fight their wars by pen

Their battlefields paper maps

Untarnished by real men

The men who die in their wars

Are statistics on a chart

Their places marked by colored pins

That don’t get blown apart

The old men only shake from age

Their pens don’t drip with blood

Ghosts don’t haunt their half-crazed dreams

They’re clean of sweat and mud

In ordered rooms they make their plans

Arrange the figures and the facts

Vote on monumental things

Useless in attacks

While they sit in their fresh pressed suits

There are men in rumpled gear

Whose shell-shocked eyes meet sightless ones

Whose hearts beat quick with fear

And while the old men safely sit

And play at war with toys

Most of the dead out on the line

Are hardly more than boys